Wednesday, December 20, 2017

2017 In Review & Plans For 2018



I haven't written a personal post in a while, because honestly they just don't get as many views as my other posts do. Blog posts that draw people in are ones that solve problems- how to's, 5 ways to do this, relatable experiences, etc. Something in me has just been dying to write about my life lately; after all, thats what this blog started out as- a record of my life.


I wanted to take a moment to draw on my experiences in 2017 and talk about my hopes for the year ahead.

2017 started with a pregnancy  and then my first (and hopefully only) pregnancy loss. I've written a lot about that experience, so I won't go on about it now, but it effected me in ways I can't forget. It also made me realize how much I want more children. As I get closer to 30, my biological clock is ringing like the loudest most annoying alarm clock you could imagine. My 28th birthday is next week. I keep reminding myself that women are having children well into their 30s and 40s now, but I worry about things like possible secondary infertility, or another molar pregnancy. I worry that if we wait too long it just won't happen. I think my fears are valid, but also know that they are coming from my closest frenemy 'anxiety'.

Mid 2017 brought about a change in heart regarding what I want to do with my life. It was the best change that could have happened, and the reason you're reading this blog right now. Even though writing and social media isn't my full time job yet, it fulfills me in ways my day job couldn't and keeps me hopeful for the future. I've collaborated with so many amazing people and companies this year, and I can't wait to see what 2018 brings.

Late 2017 has brought about it's own set of challenges. I've been struggling lately with juggling everything in my life and trying to keep everyone happy. I'm not the first woman to juggle full time work with a side hustle, running a house and parenting but I seem to be struggling more than most. I find it hard to come home from a mentally draining job, only to be faced with a house that needs cleaning, writing that needs to be done, errands that need to be run, a family that needs to be fed, a child that needs to be bathed and read 5 stories before bed, etc.

I want so badly to be able to write and blog full time from home and ditch my day job, but that's not in the cards for me yet. Hopefully soon.

I'm trying to find balance. I'm trying to get past the judgements from well meaning women in my life who had no problems balancing their home/work lives. Sometimes I look around at my messy house and feel so overwhelmed by anxiety that I don't know where to start, so I take it slow and clean at my own pace. Podcasts are my favourite thing to listen to as I clean, and I usually listen to business and blog oriented podcasts so I feel like I'm getting work in while I clean #multitasking.

I've gotten rid of SO much crap lately that I didn't need, and decluttering has been helping me keep the house clean. It's amazing how much stuff accumulates over the years without us even realizing it. I've never been good at getting rid of things because of my anxiety. Each item I own holds a memory for me and sometimes I feel like getting rid of an item is getting rid of the memory attached to it. I swear I'm not a hoarder, and I'm getting better at letting go of things.

Looking forward to 2018 I have SO many plans and hopes for this year. After the molar pregnancy happened I was determined to try for another baby in early 2018. We had a set plan to start trying in January, but recently decided to put that plan on hold so I can focus on myself.

I had a doctors appointment recently where she advised me that despite my weight, I had perfect blood work results. My blood pressure was perfect, my cholesterol was perfect, sugar, liver, thyroid, everything perfect. I've gained about 10 lbs since the molar pregnancy and I thought it was something to do with my levels being off, but now I'm thinking its most likely from my antidepressant that I take for anxiety. I'm not at a point where I can stop taking it, so I need to start working my butt off (literally) to lose this weight. I can't go through another pregnancy at this weight, and being fit and healthy in my late 20's/early 30s and pregnant is better than being obese and pregnant now. Even though getting pregnant is never guaranteed, I would rather try when I'm healthier, because a healthy mom is more likely to have a healthy pregnancy.

I also want to get a set cleaning and work schedule down, because adding another baby to the mix when I have time management issues now probably isn't the best idea.

I've lost about 8lbs since my doctor's appointment just from cutting down on portion sizes and going to the gym on my breaks at work. I'm reminding myself to secure my own oxygen mask before securing anyone else's and I'm starting to put myself first again more often. I'm realizing that I am worthy of self love, and that I deserve the best treatment available from myself.

My hopes for 2018 are to continue to build Adventures At Home, strengthen my writing skills, lose weight (but more importantly get healthy), build my Etsy shop, post regularly on YouTube and create a work/home balance. I also want to continue working as a writer outside of my blog, because nothing makes me prouder than seeing my work in print.

I hope that my husband continues to pursue his dreams (he may have some exciting career related news coming up soon!) and I know we will continue to support each other's goals throughout the year.

On the decluttering front I want to continue to get rid of things, and bring less into the home. I want our home to feel like an oasis that I get to come home to after a busy day at work. I want to be able to come home to a house that is already clean because it's so decluttered that it's easy to maintain.

With parenting Mason, I want to establish better methods for dealing with tantrums, him not listening to me, etc. I've talked to a parenting coach who has helped me to feel more confident in my parenting abilities, and helped me to realize that I don't need to be Mason's best friend all the time. Sometimes I can be his best friend, but first and foremost I need to be his parent.

I plan to write a monthly recap each month to look over what I've accomplished, and keep myself accountable. I'm also planning on seeing a therapist about my anxiety, stress, etc. I've never seen a therapist before so I have no idea what to expect, but hey, I might as well try it.


Most importantly I hope 2018 brings a new level of confidence and self assurance into my life. I've been saying daily positive affirmations that have been reminding me of who I really am. I am a good mother, a good writer, a good friend. I don't care if someone thinks I'm a bad parent for getting Mason an iPad for Christmas or for rear facing him until he outgrows his carseat. I don't care if people don't understand my anxiety or ability to stress over every aspect of my life. I am a good mother, a good writer, a good person and I am ready for 2018.

Dedreanna




2 comments

  1. "My anxiety or ability to stress over every aspect of my life" — this could be me saying this. I am the most anxious person I know! It's inspiring to see you work towards your goals! I miss blogging; I haven't blogged regularly since being pregnant with Mabel and haven't blogged at all since August. The more time that passes, the harder it feels to start again. Maybe 2018.

    Semi-related note: I also love listening to podcasts while I clean, do laundry, etc. What are your faves?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! You should get back to blogging! I always enjoyed reading your blog posts. 2018 will be your year! It's hard to do things when you're in the baby bubble though- I totally understand that.

      For podcasts I love "In the story house"- it's by 2 Atlantic Canadian bloggers giving tips on blogging, marketing etc. When I want to be entertained (and scared lol) I listen to the No Sleep Podcast or I'll search for a murder mystery.

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