Saturday, May 28, 2016

Left shoe in the back seat? Stop shaming parents who need a reminder


Hi everyone. I haven't blogged in forever, and its because I've been in full wedding planning mode for the past couple of months and its taking over my life lol.

I just wanted to do a quick post about something that I've been seeing a lot of lately. Now that summer is upon us, there have been a lot of posts circulating with tips on how not to forget your child in the back seat when you get out of the car. Annoyingly, these posts are often reposted with comments like "wow, these people should not have children if they need a reminder." Well I'm glad you're so perfect, and I wont comment on your forward facing toddler with the loose straps and low chest clip...you just keep on shaming others, okay?



Okay.

So why is it such a big deal to need a reminder? I think the parents who put reminders up even if they don't think they will ever need them are awesome. It doesn't make someone a bad parent to use every precaution not to forget their child in the car.

It's all about routine. If the mom usually drives the child to daycare, and one day she can't and the father has to drive him, that's a break in the routine. These are usually the situations that precede a child being left in the car. We've all been in auto pilot mode before, like when we drive somewhere familiar and don't remember the drive there.

Now imagine a busy morning- the mother is rushing around trying to get her child ready to go. She realizes she doesn't have time to do the daycare drop off, so she asks the child's father if he can. He says he will, and while he's getting his shoes on, the mother takes the child out and straps him in. So at this point, the father has had no interaction with the child this morning, and is just going about his morning as usual. He kisses his wife goodbye as they pass each other, and starts his day as usual- by getting into his truck and going to work. He has work on his mind and is ready to finish the work project he started yesterday. The child is in the back seat rear facing and being quiet. The father drives to work, his mind focused on the job he needs to complete.

When he gets to work, he gets out of the truck and goes inside, not realizing or remembering the change of routine, and that his child is still in the back seat. He goes about his day as usual, and the worst happens.

OR

When he gets to work he opens the truck door to get out and notices that he's only wearing 1 shoe because the left shoe is in the back seat with his son. He instantly realizes that he forgot to drop him off at daycare, turns around and goes back to drop him off.

The shoe could be anything- a briefcase, a cell phone, a purse- anything you need at your destination and would have to get from the back seat. It doesn't mean that these items are more important, and you are remembering them but not your child. It means that these items are part of your routine and your mind is trained to grab them.

Stop shaming parents who need a reminder. The same people doing the shaming are also the ones who post horrible stories when the worst situation happens. Maybe the situation would have been different if people were posting positive reminders and tips instead of making those who need a reminder feel like bad parents.

I personally do not have a reminder in my car yet, but I have been putting my purse in the back seat just in case. I would love to think that I would never forget him, but the mind is a tricky thing, and you just never know. I also text my fiance on the days that he does daycare drop offs just to make sure he dropped him off. Yeah, he gets annoyed sometimes at my constant texts, but just knowing that Mason got dropped off safely is worth a minute of his annoyance.

Just something to think about this summer when you see posts about these reminders. Don't post it to shame people, post it to help.

D


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