Saturday, October 17, 2015

The Best Shower

So, I just had the best shower ever. I'm talking Herbal Essences commercial good. Hot water, coconut body scrub and my shower radio playing that new country station that I'm secretly obsessed with. Why was it so awesome? Because I had 20 damn minutes to myself without someone needing something from me. To be fair, Mason is sleeping and Mitch is netflixing, so they're good.

I love my family, but we all need time to ourselves every now and then. This is something I'm recently embracing, as I wasn't taking care of myself for a long time. 

..ok, honestly I was in full hobo mode for a while. There have been times where I've gone days without washing my hair because...ain't nobody got time for that when you have a kid..right?

Wrong... 

Being a parent is such a huge change from my former life that I didn't know how to adjust to the new me. It sometimes felt like being a mom was all or nothing. If I didn't have time to do my full hair and makeup routine, I would just not do any of it.

 Yes, I've gone to work, and possibly to the mall several times without makeup on and my unwashed hair in a side ponytail- praying that I wouldn't run in to any of my Facebook people, who I've never seen in real life but would totally recognize them from their selfies friends. 

I've thrown sweaters on over spit-up covered t-shirts, scrubbed yogurt off my pants because I didn't want to change them, and I've worn sneakers without socks because...well I hate socks and can never find any when I need them. 

This stops now- it needs to stop now before I find myself walking around Walmart in pj pants and a mom bun ( ok, I love the mom bun...we'll call it an inspired top knot.) 

And no judging if any of you rock the pj pants- it's just something I promised myself I would never do. 

Let me take you back in time. We're hopping in the DeLorean and going back
to 2013. I'm wearing 6 inch heels and practicing walking down the hall of our apartment to my favourite T-Swift songs. I had just entered to compete in a beauty pageant and was SO determined to be the best version of myself that I could be. I was watching Miss Congenialty at least once a day, and was excited for my chance to finally be somebody. Somebody that people noticed and looked up to. I was just slightly above my lowest weight ever, and feeling pretty optimistic about the future and about myself. I can honestly say that I loved myself.

Back then I could spend literally an entire day getting ready for the day. On a day off I would wake up, shower, paint my nails while my hair air dried all morning. Make myself breakfast while wearing a face mask. Work out, dance around like a fool, spend an hour casually doing my makeup, and straightening my hair. I wouldn't go ANYWHERE without fake eyelashes on- not even a convenience store. Any time I forgot to restock my eyelash stash was a bad day because I was extremely self conscious about going out without them. 

Shortly after I enrolled in the pageant, I found out I was pregnant. Side note- never take a pregnancy test at work for "peace of mind"- you'll end up crying in the bathroom stall by yourself, which is never fun.) 

I traded my heels for sneakers, and threw myself into this amazing mommy world. I was able to keep up with my usual routine for a while, but somewhere along the way I morphed into this iced cap addicted mombie who made any excuse not to take care of herself. 

When I enrolled in that pageant, I wanted to be somebody for people to look up to and admire. I'm realizing now that the most important person who admires me, calls me mom (or mamamama at the moment.) 

And so I'm starting to make time again for amazing showers, and for straightening my hair. I'm dancing around like a fool again, and showing my toddler what it means to be healthy. Because at the end of the day, we need to be the best version of ourselves to be the best moms for our kids. 

And if any of you see me at walmart in pajama pants, please, no close ups ;)

Dedreanna 

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